Photo by Emily Gude Photography
Recently, I was asked by a vendor, “how do you deal with a client only wanting some of their guests to bring a +1?” That is a tough question. And shortly after the vendor asked me that, one of my clients asked me the exact same thing. So, I thought about it for a bit, asked some friends their opinion, and then researched online to see what others had to say on the topic. I found some interesting opinions and didn’t agree with everything everyone else had to say.
So, today we are tackling this tough question!
“How to tell your guests they cannot bring a +1”
I will start by saying I think any couple planning their wedding should not feel pressured to abide by any rules pertaining to who they can and cannot invite to THEIR wedding. That said, I do think there is a right and wrong way to handle the +1 situation.
First question – are guests RSVPing on your wedding website? On some websites, per guest, you as the bride or groom can choose how many people each particular guest may bring. This is a discrete way of limiting +1s for certain guests. Also, in the initial invite that you send out in the mail that directs guests to the wedding website, you can choose to only include a card clarifying +1s are OK for guests who you want to bring +1s.
Conversely, if you really want to make sure those guests who you do not want to bring +1s understand that they cannot, you can always add a friendly message on your wedding website. The message could go something like this; “We’re so excited to celebrate our wedding day with our closest friends and family, and are hoping to keep the guest list limited. Thank you for not bringing a guest.” In my opinion, I would use the private discrete option, and steer clear of any public messages on your wedding website in order to avoid offending some guests.
Second question – are guests RSVPing to your wedding via snail mail? If so, that’s easy. When preparing your RSVP cards, fill out the ones for your guests in advance who you do not want to bring +1s. This reduces the chance those guests will bring a +1 and they will most likely think that is what is happening with the rest of your guests. For all of your other RSVP cards, those guests who can bring +1s, leave them blank and allow your guests to fill them out like normal when they receive them.